O n the journey, the life journey that helps us to evaluate and plan for our older loved ones, we must begin at the beginning, we must clear our head to find our heart. There’s never been a perfect parent or a perfect kid, (true story-the Cleavers were fiction).
Bank and Kahn in The Sibling Bond describe three kinds of sibling relationships: extreme loyalty, rivalry or solidarity. Probably the same can be said about the parent/child relationship…I might call her a billy sitch but don’t you try it.
I was the youngest of six and I remember having my head in a toilet or a dog poo pile a good fourth of one summer. My brothers “pubeterical” (my word) sadistic tendencies were rampant. Seriously, at eight years old, shouldn’t I have been protected from the tyranny of my brothers?
Kira Birditt, researcher, determined that “The parent-child relationship is one of the longest lasting social ties human beings establish, This tie is often highly positive and supportive but it also commonly includes feelings of irritation, tension and ambivalence.”
Relevance is that it’s never really easy
Our past, present and future by and large have been dictated by our parents or loved ones or guardians effect on us (I understand I am oversimplifying) and/but/so your current mental state will determine your current parental diagnosis and feelings. Your thoughts today determine your present and your future.
Whatever that “thing” is that prevents you from doin’ the happy dance when you think of them, pull it up and look at it from the front, side and back. Don’t stop, just spend 10 minutes looking at it. Look at how you feel when you look at it…that’s what needs “fixin”.
Gratitude is the solution-always..
Bob Newhart’s- Stop It can be seen on U tube, I seriously encourage watching it at least once. I have watched it for over a year now and it is always thought shifting. Once your past 40—let it freaking go. They were different. You were different. Life was different.
When I’m really, really mad or really, really discouraged, or really, really sad, I have a gratitude prayer I go to. “I am grateful for my toes, I am grateful for my nose, I am grateful for my ears and I am grateful for my fears”.
It doesn’t matter what you have to be thankful for but the gratitude will set you free:
air we breathe
the ability to think
the desire to think
not everyone has a loved one to consider ..be grateful.