Women empowerment is an issue which is widely discussed and talked about but, if I begin with asking, when is the international women’s day celebrated, most of us will get to trouble their with guessing the dates. It is celebrated on march 8th; to acknowledge the contribution that women have made to the society and to make sure that they the respect that they for that. Also, on such days we pledge that no acts of regression and oppression would be tolerated against women. Such days come and go, but do they really happen to mark any major change for women in our society?
Below is an essay on Women’s situation in India: who is to be blamed
Here it is tried to find the possible reasons for women’s present situation in India(however way you consider it) and what possible solution could there be focusing on major crimes against women in today’s society.
“Rapists should be hanged!!”, “rapists should be stoned to death!”, when I hear such statements I am aroused to have similar kind of hatred for these rapists of our sisters, daughters, mothers, friends…
But should they really be given a death sentence? I know, on even asking such a question would make me look like a sympathizer of such devils, as we call them. But again, I would try to form this very, ‘politically incorrect’ question in a bit different manner; I would ask, should they be the only ones to be blamed for such heinous crimes to happen? Only the rapists? The molesters? Just take a look around yourself and try to figure out those rapists that born in little kids, when they are beaten, mistreated, called names, left to live in poverty…. That ‘devil’ takes birth in a student when he is beaten brutally with a stick in a classroom in front of his friends, it takes birth in an innocent son when he sees his mother being mistreated by his father…it takes birth in a teenage boy when he is called names and is looked down for being lean and short heighten, and it finally takes birth in a young boy who is left on his own, without any care, or love from his family, society, friends, and starts getting involved in wrong habits…
I must clarify again that I am not related to any molester, by any near or far relation, I am just a college going girl who wondered about why this kind of situation prevails in a country where girls and women are worshiped in Navratras, and raped if she doesn’t beg the man (who doesn’t possess one single quality to be a MAN) to ‘spare her’ with ‘folded hands’. This is about going to the root level of why this kind of behavior exists in our society towards women. I believe in the saying that whatever happens, happens for a reason. In this scenario of women facing various such problems, we need to find out the reason for it. Why all this is happening. And with a LOCK, comes its KEY. So maybe when we get close enough to figuring out the reasons, we may also get the solutions to it, because it is easy to blame a certain person, but how ready are you to take charge and try to change the conditions, defines who you are at the core.
I take this opportunity to put forward the fact that EACH one of us is responsible for such wrongdoings. It’s time that we start accepting our responsibility in framing the circumstances that allow the space for all that we call crime, and the crime that is haunting India badly, known as the heavy four letter word Rape. It’s just like you take away R (responsibility) and leave the men ape one another on ways of disrespecting women. The major problem that is there, is this: there are very few men who actually stand up for the protection of women. It’s easy(refer: fun) to go out on streets for protests, but then you see the same men standing like meek cats or laughing off in the face of real time situation. There was once a lady guest who had come to our college to discuss the matter of women’s empowerment and the urgent need to ensure them utmost safety, we were all amazed to see that no queries or opinions were coming from the male audience present there. Finally a male student stood up for a question but, alas, that was regarding some other topic. Do not take me wrong. It is not that I hold any grudges against men, but to eradicate this deep rooted problem, it is necessary for men and women to stand along and take their calls. And when I say that men need to have equal stake, it doesn’t just mean to act in a situation when they see a woman being molested but to stop any kind of such activity which may spoil a man’s mind to treat a woman as inferior.
Now, here I come to a very important aspect of our patriarchy society. Women being considered as inferior in all spheres of life, be it personal or professional, household or economical, social or political, it is just everywhere. And that brings me to question as to how much do Women support one another? In formation of this male dominated society, women have an equal role. That household must be worshiped where a girl child’s birth was celebrated. I wonder whose aunt or grandmother didn’t get depressed when they find “it’s a girl!” women themselves have become so used to seeing themselves as an “object” to show upon shallowness, that they refuse to stand by each other in times of crises. Yes, the issues of women empowerment and their security are brought by the strata of female population itself, but by how many? And how many others support them? ‘You are being a feminist’, no, if we even try to be just humanist, the situation would improve. Why is it that a three year old girl is given dolls to play with and expected to stay quiet, be humble, follow rules of the house(that are just made for her to transform her to become an elegant Lady)? Why is it that if a teenage girl plays football, and dresses in cargo and t-shirt, she’s considered a tomboy? Can’t she be considered just another girl who has DIFFERENT hobbies and loves to explore the world? And while pinning down these words I am suddenly reminded by my conscience, of how I behaved and reacted to a girl who was ‘tomboyish’. I and my friends were taking evening walk in the park of our colony, when we saw a girl playing basketball so enthusiastically that we were confused whether it was a girl or a boy. Adding to that confusion was her hairstyle, short, spiked hair, chains hanging from one pocket of her cargo pants, shirt lightly tucked into it, and wearing cool blue shoes. We stopped to watch her, to figure out who she was, when a girl from my neighborhood came to us and asked us to join that girl on the basketball court. We asked who she was, without mentioning about the gender, as we were still confused. She told that it’s her cousin from another city. A female cousin; which we figured out ourselves on listening to her description of ‘that girl’. We refused to go giving a silly reason of going back to our houses because it was getting dark. But at the back of our minds we did not want to involve with her, a girl who is a ‘boy’! So, it is not just about criticizing others on their behavior towards the concept of independence of women, but to introspect to the findings of how much we ourselves are involved in degrading the situation.
As a girl grows up to become a woman, she is taught to take up ‘light’ jobs, jobs that would let her devote time to her family, no adventurous outings, nothing that may infuse the feeling of being independent. And that’s how she is blamed for being raped. ‘what, you were trying to fly like a bird, go out for late night parties, movies, having fun; now you get this for being a free spirited woman’ and ‘you were ought to face this’. That’s what we get to hear from the country’s political leaders and self styled gods when the nation burns in the fire of rage against rapes, molesting, sexual abuse, violent attacks…and when some women stand to protest for their rights, they are called, ‘dented and painted’. A woman is then told that it was her fault that she was the one inviting such crimes to happen. As long as we would keep blaming one or the other person, we must leave the hope for any ‘out of the blue’ solution that would bring a ‘revolution’ to amend things. No, that’s not what we are supposed to expect, but what we can hope for is a gradual improvement in the behavior of men, as well women towards the independence of female population of this country. Why I say ‘this country’, is because, it is sad to witness such crimes to take place, here on this pious land, where goddess Durga and goddess Kali are worshiped for their bravery, and feared upon. More importantly, they are respected and looked forth as symbol of fearlessness by women. But when it comes to real life, present time scenario, the whole hullabaloo of worshiping and respecting women fades away? Sadly, by women themselves.
It is imperative to now find out what could be a possible and feasible way to cope with and improve women’s place in the society. Firstly, women themselves need to encourage one another to go out and explore their desire, destiny and to let them be independent. And this is not possible without the support from their male counterparts. They must understand that only if their wives and daughters will progress, then only they too will achieve wholesome development of their being. And when such a situation comes, the country would develop on its own. And what I believe is that EDUCATION is the most important tool to make that happen. A holistic education. That teaches us moral values as well.
And if we enter the day to day life, each and every person should intervene if they see and witness something that strikes them wrong to their conscience. And yes, it does become our business to interrupt because being a fellow human being; it is my duty to take my call and stand for what I believe is right. That just doesn’t apply in cases that involve women, but even when men are subjected to misdeeds by other men or by the society, because that would ultimately make him what we call today as a RAPIST.